[vc_row][vc_column][vc_custom_heading text=”CHAPTER 4 : DEBT” font_container=”tag:h1|text_align:left” use_theme_fonts=”yes”][vc_column_text]After the birth of Andrew, I continuously convinced myself that I would slow down on gambling. I knew we needed the money more now than ever. It was just so hard, no matter how hard I tried something lured me back to that damn place.
I don’t know if it was the ambiance of the casino, the adrenaline I felt when gambling or the chance that I may strike it big. I think it was a bit of everything, and I just couldn’t get passed it. I was hopeless. At this point, I had spent just over 100,000 gambling, and it killed me knowing how much I spent but even so, I couldn’t quit. I was too ashamed to admit to my wife where all our money was going, and I would make up lie after lie about where 100,000 dollars had gone. I don’t know if she believed me or if she had to convince herself that I was telling the truth, either way, she didn’t say much about it. I felt like I was drowning, I didn’t see a way out of this disgusting habit that I was trapped in. How could I ever come out with the truth to my wife? I convinced myself that I wouldn’t have to tell her ever because I would win the jackpot one of these days and win back all of the money that I had lost.
Sadly, my idea of winning back all the money I had lost never became a reality. The truth is that I kept gambling every chance I had and every way that I could. It all started with playing the slot machines, then to blackjack and poker tables. When I couldn’t get to a casino, I would even play hundreds of dollars on scratch tickets as well as the occasional betting on horse races or sports games. It was a sickness and I had no control. I’m not saying I lost all of the time, but a number of times I lost outweighed the times I won by a long shot. The more I gambled the further in debt I became and my biggest fear was losing everything that I had worked so hard to achieve, but yet I couldn’t quit my habit. What happened next was probably what I like to refer to as the lowest point in my life.[/vc_column_text][/vc_column][/vc_row][vc_row][vc_column][/vc_column][/vc_row]